Dhaalne ko lohe ko
kabhi saanche ka aasra liya, kabhi hathode ka raasta ||
Kayi arson baad dekha
to pratikriya mein saanche aur hathode bhi kuch badal chuke the ||
Main kabhi loha tha, kabhi saancha aur kabhi hathoda||
**
She went through phases of her life - Awake, Dreaming and Sleeping.
Every morning कृति used to wake up, and perform her routine activities. She will dust up the laziness stuck on body by freshening up and bathing. Eat to fill herself till lunch. She will ride a bus or a subway, or drive through bustling traffic to reach her office. Weather sometimes spiced up her routine, but more or less things stayed constant and stable. Towards the end of day, she returned back home, ate, did few more chores including fun and went to bed. Passing through this set of activities daily, she always felt something different in herself at night than when she left this same bed in the morning. Then in night, somedays she dreamt, somedays she slept, and most days probably a mix. Next day she gets up again - sometimes as something subtly different herself , and other times as something substantially different herself. And then picks up the routine again.
Like we step into & step out of dresses and change our moods, her consciousness seems to step in & out of different realms such as Awake, Dream and Sleep. She is aware of it, somewhere. She doesn't know how to describe it but she is aware of it. Many others also felt the same.
Like always, on an average general day She & They get up. And did their daily activities. And then when they met, talked about the things she & they saw in routine - the traffic, the weather, the work etc. Her interaction with them changes her every now and then, and vice versa. She describes a thing as she saw, they describe the same thing as they saw, one bullies, the other yields to different degrees and something changes in the beliefs and perceptions. An ongoing but less noticeable thing - like life cycle of nails and hairs.
Then some other days, she feels dreamy, even in the middle of day. Fully awake though, she feels drifted away from the surroundings. Sometimes dreaming about a beach and its warm pleasing breeze, sometimes about a loved one or sometimes just about some ideology, and so on. And then there are days where she would just stare into the window like looking at something far away through the material objects. Everybody thinks she is dreaming, but only she knows that she was just looking at nothing, like sleeping. You know like a blank spot in memory. Of both these realms, where she enters from being completely awake few moments before, she gets a sudden jerky flash & comes out. The sudden change of surroundings cause a weird feeling of lostness & unfittingness. At that point it seems like only the surroundings have changed.
These things continue for a time & in cycles, and confuse her thoroughly, but she carries on. And then that day comes when she either wakes up from sleep or from jerk, and feels substantially changed. She unsuccessfully & anxiously spends the coming week, and the one after that, and few more just to figure out how and what happened? All she has in memory is some events from her awake realm. She can't recall anything, yields and accepts.
It seems like we are continuously walking through these realms of consciousness, letting them change us, God knows how? - and all we know or rather feel - helplessly- is that we have changed, with no clue how - with clues lost in ocean of awake events, in uncertainty of dreamy events, and secrecy of sleeping events. And we keep walking. Maybe, maybe not.
**
Because sometime we receive a blow
And sometimes we provide that blow
And then sometimes in our sleep the flow whispers a blow !!
