There are so many emotional experiences that we have had, and have then passed them to our sub-conscious minds. Occasionally a piece of art makes you taste them again, resulting in overwhelming nostlagia. I saw an image of a young boy, with all the equipments that a cobbler possess, standing by a side of wall, and sheepishly weeping by looking at bunch of happy children in school uniform and school bags.
Reminded me of that day, when I was looking to buy the football shirt of my favorite soccer team (which was very dear to me), but stopped short, I was curious to know why. It was expensive, but not to the extent that I couldn't. I was stopping myself from fulfilling a really dear wish of mine, which I was comfortably capable of, in terms of the real world parameters. Then Why? In some time, my closed introspecting eyes were staring at an answer - an answer sitting at the center and creating ripples of set of questions and answers.
My PAST didn't let me to. And then... suddenly the (slightly familiar) cries of a young boy soared within me, highlighting the painful restrain he had put on the most innocent of longings - a young boy who has been restraining his urge to buy that t-shirt for many years now. Theis young boy was from the years when my family was facing a small crisis, and I was maturing to deal with it. Now even though everything is
good and I can buy that shirt, I don't. Sounds foolish, irrational and miserish right. But its none of them. Probably it's because I don't want to separate myself from that young boy's feelings who still occupies a space in a mystical corner of my heart. He may have shrunken in size but he roars and cries harsh enough to make his presence clear, when he likes to.
He is just too dear, dearer than that t-shirt. His presence in the timeline of my life defines me. It weaves my past and my future. Any action with slightest possibility of obliviating him fills me with fear of getting lost, with hesitation of hurting some feelings(don't know whose), and with haunting loneliness.
Sometimes, I feel that its not the bones and the tissues and the organs. Its the events like above, which are the building blocks of our being.
On the other hand, If I cling to this memory and to its repercussions in behavior, am I really evolving? Am I acting too rigid and locking myself in a cage of past? For e.g. maybe I could have taken the path of buying that shirt, and looked at the event as satisfying an old wish and could have moved forward than keep getting caught in the same loop of not doing some things, and thinking about this same question.
Can I balance between Avoiding the fear of getting lost, while still Learning more and propelling forward. I guess - Yes. So far, there are lot of such memories that I have obliterated intentionally
and that has proved progressive for me, but at same time I have clung to some which I don't have guts to forget - the ones which are very close to my heart, which transformed me hugely in past, the ones which feed my spirit and conscience, like the one with the young boy who matured.
Do you ever feel that you are not doing some things, which you are comfortably capable of doing in the lens of the real world
Reminded me of that day, when I was looking to buy the football shirt of my favorite soccer team (which was very dear to me), but stopped short, I was curious to know why. It was expensive, but not to the extent that I couldn't. I was stopping myself from fulfilling a really dear wish of mine, which I was comfortably capable of, in terms of the real world parameters. Then Why? In some time, my closed introspecting eyes were staring at an answer - an answer sitting at the center and creating ripples of set of questions and answers.
My PAST didn't let me to. And then... suddenly the (slightly familiar) cries of a young boy soared within me, highlighting the painful restrain he had put on the most innocent of longings - a young boy who has been restraining his urge to buy that t-shirt for many years now. Theis young boy was from the years when my family was facing a small crisis, and I was maturing to deal with it. Now even though everything is
good and I can buy that shirt, I don't. Sounds foolish, irrational and miserish right. But its none of them. Probably it's because I don't want to separate myself from that young boy's feelings who still occupies a space in a mystical corner of my heart. He may have shrunken in size but he roars and cries harsh enough to make his presence clear, when he likes to.
He is just too dear, dearer than that t-shirt. His presence in the timeline of my life defines me. It weaves my past and my future. Any action with slightest possibility of obliviating him fills me with fear of getting lost, with hesitation of hurting some feelings(don't know whose), and with haunting loneliness.
Sometimes, I feel that its not the bones and the tissues and the organs. Its the events like above, which are the building blocks of our being.
On the other hand, If I cling to this memory and to its repercussions in behavior, am I really evolving? Am I acting too rigid and locking myself in a cage of past? For e.g. maybe I could have taken the path of buying that shirt, and looked at the event as satisfying an old wish and could have moved forward than keep getting caught in the same loop of not doing some things, and thinking about this same question.
Can I balance between Avoiding the fear of getting lost, while still Learning more and propelling forward. I guess - Yes. So far, there are lot of such memories that I have obliterated intentionally
and that has proved progressive for me, but at same time I have clung to some which I don't have guts to forget - the ones which are very close to my heart, which transformed me hugely in past, the ones which feed my spirit and conscience, like the one with the young boy who matured.
Do you ever feel that you are not doing some things, which you are comfortably capable of doing in the lens of the real world
1 comment:
Oatmeal's take on a similar topic. They have nailed it like always http://theoatmeal.com/comics/running
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