How events unfold has always been an enchanting concept for me. For the same, I love to keep some unplanned elements in my life - Be it travels, be it daily time tables etc. That balanced recipe of planned and unplanned is life for me. Any of these missing - it loses it's taste.
We opted for a paddle boat ride in this serene man made lake around 5:30. With some chatris (memorials for the dead ones) in middle of the lake - it has a charming view. The lake has a shiv temple on it's side, and a nice restaurant. The ducks, pigeons, parrots, and crows making rounds made an enchanting view in the setting sun. Fortunately for us - the place was not very crowded, as we had chosen the period just before the long Christmas weekend, hence avoiding the major rush.
The colors of the sun and the flatness of the terrain gave a very different tint to the sunset. Visiting the lake was not the 'unplanned part'. What ensued after the paddling was.
While paddling, I could hear some faint noises of the aarti from the lake facing Shiv temple. After wrapping up the ride, I just walked down to the temple, while rest of folks were indulging in Vyan's (my wife's 2 year old nephew) horse and camel rides. I am amazed of the passion and obsession the kiddo has with animals. He could spend the day just talking about cows, and listening to cow stories. So much so, I convinced him that on the highway if he keeps shouting
"cow mata aa jao " - then they will appear. And he would repeat it for half an hour, and get amazed at every sight of the cow :) When listening to cow stories, he will listen to the full story and then innocently say "Now tell me story for yellow cow". Will hear the same story again just replacing the cow with yellow cow. And then for blue cow, and it never ends :)
So, I entered this small Shiva temple, and reached into like the last 5 mins of the evening Aarti. There was something different about the Aarti here - there seemed to be a group of 7-8 local aged men who assembled everyday to do the Aarti. The sounds were reverberating like an instrument is being played - and the pronunciations were very unique. I felt some kind of pristine awareness in the place. Pujari ji was very courteous, and answered my questions on how old the temple is - It turned out to be the royal temple for Jaisalmer royal family, and has been in its present shape for last 400 odd years. They all were sitting after the aarti on temple steps, and he even laid down a dari for me to sit - kind of treating me like a guest. Having missed a significant part of the Aarti, I asked Pujari ji if they do the Aarti in the morning. To which he said (which I later realised was known to me) that Aarti happens only in evening. And then mentioned that he does Rudra abhishek every day morning at 6 am - without considering if anyones comes or no. I was amazed that how in chilly winters, priests do not give up on their routines and duties. That sounded interesting to me, and I considered the idea to come to the temple at 6 am in the morning, after bathing and do the rudra abhishek. It sounded a little crazy - something religious that you don't even do at your hometown - you are trying to do in a tourist town. But that was the call from the inside - the "unplanned part".
On my way back, I picked this small local instrument called Morchang (Jaw's harp) from the street shops outside Gadisar lake and temple complex. It costed me around 400 bucks, and I took like a 5 mins session with the local artist. When I looked it up on internet, it costs almost above 3k everywhere. Looks like this instrument is a very old instrument, and it's technology is father to Harmonica and Harmonium. Check out a video of how it sounds here.
Meanwhile, my co travellers started looking me up, and I said good bye to Hariram boppa - the local artist who sold me the Morchang. I told him that I might be here in the morning, and he said I can learn from him in the morning, as he reaches at 7:30.
We had a long day planned as we had to drive to Longevala and Tanot mata mandir the next day - which is almost a full day plan. I told my idea to my co travellers - they were little baffled at the randomness. Especially given the winters.
Next day morning, I got up at 5:30 am. Went to take a shower and realized for some reason there is no hot water OR I couldn't figure as I was half asleep. Took a cold shower on that chilly morning, packed myself in winterwear, and drove around 10 kms back to Shiv temple at Gadisar lake. I reached at around 5:50, and the temple was closed. Realizing that I have around 10 minutes, I just sat on the steps and did my routine morning mantras quickly. Around 6:05 am I could hear some footsteps, and I thought now we will start the rudra abhishek, but it turned out to be a dog - my only companion in that dark and cold morning. It was slowly becoming clear that Pujari ji is not coming. I wasn't ready to believe it though, and I felt that maybe there is a back door to the temple and Pujari ji might have started pooja after entering from back door - In pursuit of that back door, I climbed the easily accessible roof of adjoining houses thinking this might be house of the priest. Given the darkness, I felt like someone will start shouting Chor, Chor on spotting me - but then I didn't want to leave any stones unturned. I was feeling a bit stupid, but at the same time the experience was pleasant - there was an unparralleled freshness of the morning by the lake side. It was silent, serene, and solitude - which otherwise is not possible to get. There was uncertaiity, there was all the time to do whatever I would like to. A duck's quack would reverberate in the atmosphere every now and then, and so would the ripples in the water at different spots and different intervals. It was still pitch dark.
I started walking by the lake. And in 20-30 minutes 2-3 local folks became visible and started doing their morning walk ritual. It felt really pleasant to see people's rituals - while I was missing out on the religious rituals, I did catch glimpse of regular folk's rituals. It reminded me of my childhood days, when I used to get up early in the morning on a daily basis, and used to go on a 4-5 km walk with dad to get milk. The sight probably struck a chord.
I sat towards the end of the lakeside walk track, and started playing Raga puriya on flute. It's a morning Raga, and very soothing. Interestingly, a pack of ducks which was swimming away from me reversed their direction and started swimming towards me - and came to around 20-25m distance. It was surprising - it felt that they could appreciate the music and it's fitment to the timing. Looking at this - a little later, I changed the raga to hamsadhwani (thinking ducks to be similar to swans) and to even more surprise they again started moving back. It felt that they understood the aptness of music. It was still dark, and the 3 morning walkers were doing the rounds. I was absorbing the freshness of the dawn, and the lingering
sounds of evanescent music.
There was a sort of establishment opposite where I was sitting, which was the only source of light at time of dawn. The concoction of morning energy had already instilled a peace and freshness within me. I was feeling uncaged of regular experiences& routine. Meanwhile, Sun had started sending signals of rising, and sent a pink skyline in it's announcement.
The pastel colors in the sky stayed for almost 30 mins. I literally just kept staring for almost this time, hearing the voice of birds, quacks of ducks, and watching a ripple in water now and then. Meanwhile, 2 folks were walking, and asked me if there is a way to go to that property which was lighted. I said no and that I am also new - but they started walking towards a sandy patch on the left side, and it just struck me that there might be this unpaved desert patch that leads to this property after covering a semicircle. I started following them, and actually caught up with them. The elder one was serving in army, and started mentioning benefits of army. He was quiet fit, and I first mistook him to be elder brother of his son, who was in 2nd year of studying medicine. Fitness of army folks is indeed a different ball game. We talked about the discipline in army, and how he can not even imagine his son living up to that (I felt he also subtly included me in the reference :)) As you can guess the walk was brisk. We reached the property, opened the small latched gate, and entered this beautiful 'mandir' aangan with atleast 200-300 year old trees, and a mesmerizing view of the fort city.
Gadisar lake complex, backgrounded with the living fort of Jaisalmer. And the reflections. Absorbed the moment for 5-10 mins. This was a Hingalaj mata mandir - a very powerful goddess widly worshipped in Rajasthan. Original Hingalaj mata mandir is in current day Pakistan, and is one of the Shaktipeeths. The room has an energy, and had the small nagaras kept like most temples in Rajasthan - these small drums are used at time of artis. Looks like it was darshan of mata, rather than Rudra abhishek that was written in my destiny. Later in the same day, we were also going to Tanot mata mandir (Tanot mata had blessings of Hingalaj mata, and has been instrumental in well being of the deserted area Tanot. It also has a famous war story, of making all bomb shells diffuse)
When we came out of the temple, intelligent ducks were waiting for us in the crowd - they were used to getting grains from whoever comes out. They just surrounded us without any fear, and demanded food like we were one of their own. There was a bowl kept on the boundary of the temple full with grains - we distributed grains to them, and walked on. A by chance event of an unplanned journey.
We started back. The army duo went back jogging. I was in slippers (remember I came for the temple :)), and just walked my way through. There was still only 3-4 people around us. Sun has risen. I thought, let's go and check - what's the status of the temple. Midway, another morning walker stopped me and asked what are you carrying referring to my flute. In conversations, it came out he worked in 'Rajasthan Patrika', and asked if I could play something on flute. He wanted to capture a shot with ducks in background - which we were not very successful in. Well I just played my part, and then moved towards the temple (with a slight hope that I might get a coverage :D).
The best was still awaiting though. The glimpses of sunrise, through beautiful sights of Gadisar lake. I reached the temple complex, and clicked these pictures from there. Nature welcoming and enjoying the warmth of the Sun.
As I approached the temple, a vibrant voice grew louder. In one of the chatris, someone was sitting and reciting dohas of Kabir in a reverberating voice.
I sat there with him, and supported him with beats and chorus for his words of wisdom. With all the freshness, this felt surreal to me. It transported me to a state of devotional trance. Putting the small video clip here.
We had to leave for Longevala and Tanot mata at 9 am, and I started my journey back at around 7:50 am. I did not wish to leave the setup, but rest of the family must be waiting. So, I headed back after exchanging an acknowledgement with the satsang partner. Temple was still closed though :) I actually asked one of the morning walkers, what time does the temple open - and I was told around 9 am. Would have loved to confirm this with Pujari ji, but didn't get a chance. Hariram (the morchang player) who mentioned coming at 7:30 am was also missing. The fairy desert town stuck in time, clearly played some magic trick on my mind - to get me to experience this blissful morning.
Coming back to unplanned experiences. I like them as they resonate life. This particular experience - I had 2 choices a) of being disappointed that I got up in morning and did so much for no use as temple was closed or b) Take it with open hands and experience what I got. While I did not plan for it, I might have got an experience which was even more memorable than doing the Rudra Abhishek. The destiny played it's dices. It's just in hands of human to try - rest is given by destiny.
I have written up 2-3 posts earlier on comparing our path with others a) Why Compare b) Roads with and w/o signs c) P value interpretation of greener grass
Picking it up again today, as got another perspective on it yesterday while discussion with Bobo. Just because I got a slightly complete perspective which is a merger of posts b and c above
We generally compare ourselves to others when we want to have something they have, and because we think that makes them happy, so will also make you happier. There are 2 assumptions here. It makes them happy and will make you happy too.
a)Statistical significance of 'It makes them happy' : We see so few events in people's lives. To add to it, most of folks are faking their expressions, and there is no way for us to get into people's heads. So the information that we have to conclude that 'it makes them happy' is really fuzzy. Any conclusions made on fuzzy inputs are fuzzy.
b)Logical dissonance in 'So It will make you happy too' : Our actions are always targeted towards our goals (both conscious and subconscious). Happiness comes when we achieve goals. Now everyone is acting with their own version of the goal in mind. If everyone's goal was same - the above statement would be perfectly logical - But unfortunately it is not. Somebody's goal is to buy a car, and someone's else to travel the world, and someone's else to marry a beautiful girl. And then these goals change - once I have bought the car, I want to travel more etc. So the goals and the person's actions would vary and change - and if you are following a moving goal post - you will go mad with no identity of yourselves. So there is no surity that 'it will make you happy too' (Though philosophically, I believe that everyone should have the same goal which is the highest goal of nirvana, and people who have the same goal should take inspiration from others)
Recently, I finished reading Andrew Grove's (Intel's CEO) book 'Only the Paranoid survive'. It's a very good insight into the tough times and the ambiguity that prevails during paradigm shifts / strategic inflection points in industries. He talks about how it is very easy to be wrong during these crisis situations - because of inertia, lack of power to fight that inertia, and lack of the right answer. He explains the natural dynamics of leadership challenges, and personal conflicts almost as a science.
While the book has lot of examples to make the gyaan relatable, I have picked out my favorite pieces of knowledge and have shared here. Would definitely recommend reading the book
Prologue - Competition which strikes not at margins.. of the existing firms, but at their foundations and their lives, is the most dangerous
Something changed in the industry, but it's difficult to figure out what
- There is no flashing sign that heralds that something has changed. Technology has something to do with most of these changes, as it provides the power to change the existing order of things
- Leader is last to know. Signaling of change starts from sales to managers to leaders. The change just grips you. The management’s job is to defend the existing, and as a result they end up ignoring / debasing the criticisms
10X changes in competitor, customer, supplier, complementor, alternates can make all your previous strategies useless. Business responds differently to managerial actions than it did before. From this inflection point, which is difficult to pin point in present, as well as in future - you can either go up or down exponentially - it’s not easy to sustain yourself here.
As everyone realizes, they are entering a valley of death and that stakes are enormously high - there will be growing ferocity, and determination surrounding the views and opinions - pitting co workers against coworkers, long term friends against long terms friends. Defining direction, and setting strategies, become difficult. It’s the time to wake up and listen
Examples (Pg 77):Old vertically arranged computer industry to horizontal specialized industry. Walmart disrupting local stores. Next disrupted by Microsoft’s superior GUI system (Job went through cycle of denial and acceptance), Sound takes over silent movies (and artists who resisted declined except the genius Charlie chaplin who too did a sound movie later)
Since 10x changes are so prevalent, why not do it ourselves: In a management class Andy grove attended, the instructor played a scene from World war II movie Twelve o clock high. A new commander is called in to straighten out an unruly squadron of ofliers, who had become undisciplined to the point of self destruction. On his way to take charge the new commander stops his car, steps and smokes a cigarette while gazing off into distance. Then he draws one last puff, throws the cigarette down, grinds it which his heel, and turns to his driver and says “Okay, Sergeant let’s go”. Grove’s instructor played the scene over and over, to illustrate a superbly enacted instance of building the determination necessary to undertake the hard, unpleasant and treacherous task of leading a people through excruciating tough set of changes - the moment when leader decides to go forward - no matter what.
It takes objectivity, the willingness to act on your convictions and passion to mobilize people into supporting those convictions. That’s what Andy grove went through when they decided to pivot to microprocessors under fierce competition from far more superior Japanese technology and processes. From being determined to implement this, he went half way to split focus on memories and microprocessors, only to realize that focus is something which vanishes as soon as split. When they notified this to the customers, they got an unanticipated response of “It sure took you a long time to realize” - People who have no emotional stake in a decision can be more objective and hence can see what can be done sooner. For the same reason, may times senior management will replace a leader to get rid of emotional baggage. The new leader wouldn't be any smarter, but at least comes with no emotional baggage.
Signal or Noise: Are all changes SIPs? For e.g. IBM was once experimenting x ray technology to build semiconductors, which was huge investment. In news of such events, you will often see competent and serious minded folks coming to different conclusions. Intel decided to pass, but there was no secret formula. The only secret formula was that while they let it pass, they decided to still closely monitor the developments to avoid being caught off guard. Another similar perceived 10x example that Grove gives is of CISC vs RISC chips (for common man, it’s enough to understand that CISC was older approach and required lot more transistors than the newer RISC). The debate over their merits divided the computer industry. Intel had 2 processor designs - 486 (higher power version of already successful 386 based on CISC), and i860 based on RISC - and they had decide which one to push to market - more proactively (Yes, you always have to decide). Development projects have a tendency to want to grow like proverbial mustard seed. The fight for resources and for marketing attention (for example,when meeting the customer which processor should we highlight?) led to internal debates which were fierce enough to tear apart out microprocessor organization. Our customers and other industry partners were not of one mind either. On the one hand, Compaq’s CEO wanted us to invest in CISC, Microsoft’s key tech manager wanted us to invest heavily in RISC. Intel continued with CISC - with the mindset that there is no point walking away from such a strong momentum, and risked other companies building RISC. They treated this change as ‘Noise’, and luckily they were right. So all of this could be very fuzzy to decide, and hence there are some rule of thumbs / processes that a leader should embrace to keep themselves aware.
A) Silver bullet test - If you had just one bullet, who will you kill? If the answer to your question is becoming vague, that means you are amidst of 10x change. A similar question can be asked for your complementary (not the bullet), but are the companies that were most relevant and good partners changing now?
Helpful Cassandras : Cassandras are often form middle management, mostly from sales. Their genes have not been selected to achieve perfection in an old way. Since they are closest to winds of change, they will give you news about the changes. You don’t have to seek Cassandras. They will ‘sell’ their concern to you with passion. Don’t argue with them, just listen them out. They are in no position to suggest a course of action, so don’t ask them for an action. Natural tendency of the senior management is to shrug off the news, and here is the need of change. Listen and wait to listen more data points - till you have made an opinion.
Debate: The more complex the issues are, the more levels of management should be involved because people from different levels of management bring completely different points of view. When faced with This kind of debate is daunting because it takes a lot of time and a lot of intellectual ergs. It also takes a lot of guts; it takes courage to enter into a debate you may lose, in which weakness in your knowledge may be exposed and in which you may draw the disapproval of your co workers for taking an un popular viewpoint. Don’t justify holding back by saying that you don’t know the answers; at times like this nobody does. Give your most considered opinion and give it clearly and forcefully; your criteria for involvement should be that you are heard and understood. Clearly, all sides cannot prevail in the debate but all opinions have value in shaping the right answer. Gradually, in a debate all parties can cut through the murkiness that surrounds their arguments.
If the prospect of vigorous debate scares you. Inaction might lead to a bad result for your business and that should frighten you more than anything else.
Arguing with data: You have to know when to hold your data, and when to fold them.
Fear: Constructively debating through issues and getting somewhere is only possible when people can speak their minds without fear of punishment. And it takes only an incident to introduce this kind of a fear (the news spreads very fast). You shouldn’t shoot the messenger, nor should you allow any manager to do so. This doesn’t mean that teams should not have a fear of competition and losing. This just means there shouldn’t be fear in expressing the thoughts.
Chaos: Getting through a SIP involves confusion, uncertainty and disorder, both on a personal level if you are in a management and on a strategic level for the enterprise as a whole. These 2 levels are more intimately connected than one might think. The early stages of inflection point are fraught with loss - loss of your company’s preeminence, of its identity, of a sense of control of your company’s destiny, of job security, and perhaps the most wrenching, the loss of being affiliated with a winner.
In such situations. Leaders look for escape or diversion like unrelated acquisitions and mergers. Lot of these activities are motivated by need of senior management to occupy themselves respectably with something that clearly and legitimately requires their attention.
Good leaders are also subject to the same emotional wriggling. They, however, eventually emerge to the acceptance and action phases. Lesser leaders are not capable of that and they are often removed. Then they are replaced by individuals who are not necessarily more capable but who do not have the emotional investment in the previous strategy. Replacement of corporate heads is far more motivatedby need of bringing someone who is not invested in past.
The inertia of success kicks in. Then there is strategic dissonance of translating the ambiguous picture in senior management’s head to the team. Resolution of strategic dissonance comes in form of experimentation. Let people try different techniques, different sales channels, different customers etc. Let chaos reign. Loosen up the level of control. Not that chaos is good in general. It’s awfully inefficient. But old order won’t give way to new without a phase of experimentation. Timing is important - experimentation and bets should be taken in the phase when the old model still has the momentum. That’s the timing with minimum long term risk. In such times of confusions, it’s important to create and keep sharing the new industry map.
Let Chaos reign: When you think what its like to get through an inflection point - it feels like they don’t know exactly where they are going; they only know that they can’t run back and must trust that they will eventually reach a place where things are better.
Rein in Chaos:
Traversing the valley of death: First task is to create a mental image of what the company is like to look in future. You need to answer people’s questions in a single phrase that everybody can remember. You need to define what would you not be - Doing this should be a little easier at this point, because you are coming out of a very bad period and you are likely to have very strong feelings about what you don’t want to be. There are dangers of oversimplifying the company’s vision, and raising brows of multiple managers (are we still doing important work), but it pales in comparison to yielding to each manager’s wish and making the vision as forty and broad that it becomes meaningless. Take a case of a company floundering to define itself. In absence of a clear definition the company will change it’s decisions often. How can one motivate oneself to continue to follow a leader when he appears to be going around in circles. Leader’s life is tough. It takes a lot of conviction and trusting your gut to get ahead of your peers, your staff and your employees while they are still squabbling about which path to take, and set an unequivocal course whose rightness or wrongness will not be known for years. Demoralized organizations are unlikely to be able to deal with multiple objective in their actions. The directive doesn’t even have to be the best direction, just a clear, strong one.
Redeploying resources: Your tendency will almost always be to wait too long. Following ‘taillight’ approach is not going to work.You have to move ahead and learn how to drive in the fog w/o anyone else showing you the path anymore.
An organization that has a culture that can deal with these two phases - debate (chaos reign) and a determined march (rein the chaos) - is a powerful adaptive organization
It tolerates and even encourages debate. These debates are vigorous, devoted to exploring issues, indifferent to ranks.
It is capable of making and accepting clear decisions, with the entire organization then supporting the decision.
Time is one of the most enchanting concepts ever. From Einstien's elastic time, to existence of communities such as Amondawa and Piraha who live without a concept of time - I have always been itching to get to fundamentals of this seemingly real but still so abstract concept.
On thinking hard, the most correlated thing to time is change - and many a times a cyclic type of change. For ages, we have measured a day as a time between 2 sunrises, a month between 2 similar phases of moon and so. So we started from a point, started observing some gradual changes and then came back to original point. A cycle was observed and was tied in a word, in a quantity, in a unit of something thought as time. Another most used unit of time is our age. It starts from birth (nothing), goes through a series of gradual changes and ends in death (nothing). Again a cycle, and the time of this cyclic journey is age. While from numerical perspective, age could be standardized, but from experiential perspective it is very subjective. Imagine 2 people living for same measured time, but not aware of concept of time as such. At the end if you asked them to quantify how long they lived. They might look baffled. They might quantify it to you in important events they did in life or in terms of how many sunsets they saw. Interestingly, if you think what is a duration of a sunset. It is an outcome of planetary settings and rules of gravitation. So time is nothing but in a way a manifestation of some laws of nature.
Imagine waking up in a closed dark room while it is 9 am outside. It will be close to impossible to guess the time. Just think of instances, when you get up in middle of night, and reach out to the watch to get a clue of what the time is. You won't.
Now compare this relatively fuzzy understanding of time, with our empirical understanding. In real life, we are used to see change as a product of time e.g. The plant will grow when 5 months pass away. In our empirical understanding, time passes first and the event is thought to happen as an outcome of it. Which one is really correct?
To answer this, I think 2 questions would be enough
a) Can time be measured without change - if it can be, then time is not dependent on change
b) Can change happen without time changing - if this is true then change is not dependent on time
Let's pick 'a - Can time be measured without change' first. I picked first 3 definitions of a 'second' (smallest unit of time used in daily life), and they seem to suggest that time can not be measured without a change:
i) The unit of time, the second, was defined originally as the fraction 1/86 400 of the mean solar day (A solar day is measured based on 'change' in position of sun)
ii) Definition of second is "the duration of 9 192 631 770 periods of the radiation corresponding to the transition between the two hyperfine levels of the ground state of the caesium 133 atom ('Change' in state of an atom)
iii) It is the time required for an electromagnetic field to propagate 299,792,458 meters (2.99792458 x 10 8 m) through a vacuum ('Change' in position of the field)
Now let's pick 'b - Can change happen without time changing'. In physical sense it obviously doesn't, but even in abstract sense, I couldn't think of an instance where change happens without time changing.
Simple, so far? Now here is a twist to 'a'. Though time can't be measured without a change - It can still pass without anything changing for e.g. Through the night, while I was sleeping (not changing my state) - time still kept ticking. This brings us to concept of relative time. Time is linked to change in events, and there are multiple events happening around us at the same time, and moreover even same event can be perceived in different ways (you can watch a lightning for 1 ms, OR you can hear its sound for 1s OR you can just know its impact for 1 min --- Now a deaf guy who just saw the lightning far away from its impact will think it was 1 ms long, A blind person will hear the thunder and think it was 1 s long, and a deaf person close to impact will think it was 1 min long - all perceiving the same thing differently and of different times). So depending the event you choose, and way you experience it - you will feel a different time. Yes 'feel'.
So many times we say that time has passed so 'fast'. Or when on stuff like weed the time slows down. All this is because, at the core of it - Time is personal to you - it is subjective to you and your experience at that moment. You 'feel' the time. The clock that is running is just a standard of time chosen to communicate easily, like language - for e.g. in moments of elation you bypass the language and generally make sound and gestures to express; similarly empirical time might cease when you are in elevated states of consciousness.
If you haven't found too much wrong with my reasoning so far, then we have established that time is subjective (depending on the event being experienced and the way it is being experienced). But this doesn't answer the question that what is 'time'? Telling you that Prateek is poised, doesn't tell you 'who is Prateek'. But before getting to my opinions on what time could be, it was very important to break the rigid and objective notion about time - the same concept that drove me towards my opinions.
I feel that time is a thought / concept / invention to let life happen. Consciousness, started being conscious/thoughtful of sequence of events, and started building a basic version of memory - Leading to birth of time. It's very difficult to say this with certainty. But to me, time feels like a thought that connects multiple other thoughts and present them as coherent reality. It's that thread that weaves the flowers to give existence to a garland. To explain and understand this, we will have to take support of an abstract plane of reasoning and reality. All live things we know, have a life 'span' - and hence have a time. For life to be there - Time is a precursor. Moreover time is super powerful in the sense, that it is immortal or if more correctly put - is outside the framework of life and death. Why does it exist, How did it came into existence - are all bigger questions which I myself am trying to answer, and will probably need another blog post (My current take is that these questions do not exist in the framework where time exists, but to articulate those thoughts it's going to take an insane amount of effort). Will like to close all the confusion with the very famous narration from Mahabharata "Main samay hoon"
We often desire to make our lives more comfortable, and get access to pleasures. Essentially we always crave for things, which give us that immediate pleasure - let it be a desirable women, artistically furnished living place, company of well known and powerful people, sports cars, and so and so. Things which are cool in some way.
Some folks move beyond these comforts, and somehow develop a control towards these cravings. Predominantly because of a realisation of futility and temporariness of the craving. Their actions are not driven by a hunger to acquire something or exert control, but by sheer meaning of the things. Some of such folks are even difficult to inspire to action.
There is a constant scrutiny of one side from the other. Questioning the motivations of the other - the desiring ones will often sneer at the ascetic ones for complacency, and lack of spirit. While the ascetic ones will often disregard the desiring ones as greedy and shallow. Obviously there is lot lost by not acknowledging the plus point of each. BUT, we are not here to discuss these 2 types. There is a completely different type of emotion that I experienced - apart from the desire for pleasure, and the lack of it.
It was momentary. It was a desire of going in an unpleasant phase. It was an urge to feel failure, a voice roaring at my ego, pushing me to extract the best out of myself - to prove it to that voice. It was need of an insult and a blow to the ego, to spur the whole system into an epitome action. Friction to kindle the fire. Push to get the stone rolling. It was a sense of self hate arising from within, resulting in a wish to improve myself, longing for an external push to impart a momentum, and a catalyst to stir an action
Returning from quite tasty but poorly serviced breakfast of lovely hot idlis and slightly stale vadas from HSR high street, we stopped at the ICICI ATM, 100 m from home to withdraw cash - as it seemed to have some. Jiju went inside, and I with my back towards the ATM door, was turning my neck like a camera taking a panoramic shoot from right to left whiling away that short window of time, when I got the perfect ending to the shot at culmination of 180 degree -
A tiny - really tiny yellow painted old school tailor shop, inhabited by a Nawazuddin Siddiqui lookalike (imbibing his characteristic rawness) middle aged man with a moustache and a monolith rock like stable unshakable शीतल focus - working on a manual sewing machine.
Captivating and Accidental. I just kept looking at the simplicity it offered, in contrast to the noise and hustle of our daily activities. It teleported me to some other world - an era where tranquility prevailed, where everything you did was with love, there was time to sip music, and to smell breeze - life was itself a work of art - which you can keep watching for hours and savour.
This mild yellow coloured shop of the different tranquil era had a slanting ceiling - accommodating a staircase to a normal hustling world above it, with a jodhpurish blue shutter as her veil against the dark. A radio kept somewhere near the bottom end of slanting ceiling, played melodious music of bygone times, with breeze flagging away 2 identical over layed pieces of yellow silk cloth being given a new identity of a blouse. A foot step would make the wheel on the side of the machine rotate hurriedly, leading the the thread and it's glossy yellow spindle into a whirlwind spin, reminding me of the intoxicating ball dancy and Salsaique move of leading the lady into transcendent orbits of sama (dervish) spins - feeling The harmony and bliss of unison and freedom. The same foot step puts the needle into a rhythmic motion of a pigeon feeding on the grains.
With his monolithic focus, he turned from the yellow silk blouse to set of 3 other cloths. Started by picking a sweat shirt with a torn seam, which has rendered the sleeve as flat cloth on one side by adventures of a kid. With keen diligence, and moves learned over centuries (by his forefathers) he moves his hands and fingers deftly in coordination, very carefully traversing a crease and at the end very craftily joining the 2 ends, by putting one side of the cloth in the crease of the other side. Puts it on the side. Picks a jeans now with a tag that would have been placed when the customer's needs were acknowledged. Sizes the jeans using his meter tape, marks it using a chalk stone, and with a cut separates a piece of denim. Uses the separated denim piece to re do the bottom cuff of the jeans, by stitching it to the internal side of the Jeans. Puts it aside. Picks up another jeans, and re sized and re cuffed it too. All this with unwavering focus, and an un -wavered clarity of actions, and measurements. With a melodious music of by gone times in background. With the breeze in the air. In the tiny charming mild yellow coloured shop of the different era with a slanting ceiling that accommodated a staircase to a normal world !!
(Towards the last quarter, if you hear carefully enough, you can also listen to the music. Couldn't get the warmth of the sun, and feel of the breeze - to make it real for you)
Somewhere in my memory, I have these memories of those different eras printed with it's characteristic colors, breeze, music, smell, and pace. Which spring alive, whenever a resonating 'set and the setting' presents itself and puts this memory into motion and life - at it's whim. I visited the shop after 2 hours - it wore its blue veil of the Jodhpur's Brahmpuri - and its doors were closed - on it's whim.
