You say it best, when you say nothing at all

Like many of those small incidents and random events that are hazy and defy the logic but still define you and captivate your mind..

At 11 pm in night, the bus dropped me on the Muzaffarnagar by pass, while continuing its journey towards Dehradun. For these few hours which had passed by, I and many other passengers shared the same journey, experienced the same winds, same bumps, same fragrances, but still something was different. There was a father and a son sitting by my side, a Gujarati family taking their elder members to holy Haridwar, and some just returning from marriages. Everybody had a different purpose linked to the end of bus journey. Anyways I parted my ways with fellow passengers to head towards my destination, with a song in mind or rather just a music-given my habit of getting so absorbed with music to completely forget about lyrics.

The wind was cold, the night dark and the roads lonely. Perfect ‘set and setting’ for vibrating thoughts to resonate. I was waiting for my dad to come and pick me up from the highway where the bus dropped me. I was brimming with thoughts, of the direction in which my business is heading, of the purpose of life, of the girl I met the day before, and the girl I have met days before and many more. Sometimes I just wonder how so many parallel thoughts keep going on in the mind and how it is an art to be aware of what all is going on, else like the uncertainty principle as you go to find what all is going on, you just grab one and tend to forget the others. In the meanwhile dad came into scene in that cold night on the bike to pick me up, and I was shocked that why didn’t papa got the car in this cold and how am I going to carry all my luggage. I concede that I was slightly annoyed, which looking back I am ashamed of.

Anyways I hopped on to the bike, and with little adjusting of seating positions we were able to manage the luggage. My dad was trying to go slow. To avoid relentless cold blows poured by nature on us,  and both of us helplessly facing them. Facing them on that lonely dark road lighted by just our bike’s headlight – silently - with the only noise being the resonance of our thoughts or maybe just my thoughts.  It was one of those times, when there is so much to say between two people, that you just let the situation say it. I was meeting dad after long time, He had lot of worries for me, for himself and for us, and I had lot of worries for him, for myself and for us, and similarly we had lot of happiness imagined , shared and remembered at this moment between us. It was a silent cocktail of thoughts, very much like when I stepped down from the bus. Among these floating bubbles of thoughts, with the chilly wind blowing through my hair, making me shiver, I tried to duck my head behind my dad’s shoulders, and that’s when the voice came “Do you need the cap?” The voice restrained by a loaded history of failed attempts and resulting altercations, but still survived by undying love. And then while driving the bike, dad managed to silently pull a cap out of his jacket and handed it over to me. The same monkey cap which at a time I used to hate because it was so uncool. And as soon as I wore it, I experienced ‘nothing’ - it blocked all of the wind hitting my forehead, and also each and every thought in my mind, as if they melted or froze or evaporated but they were no more rushing. I felt calm and protected.

And I wonder till today, what was warmer that day – the wool or the love!!